Its midnight here in Sweden and I’m feeling rather sad. And it feels rather good to be sad. It might sound strange, but let me explain;

I recently got out of a few months with a lot of anxiety and panic attacks. Now, instead of feeling like my chest will break and thinking I’m the most awful person on the planet, I just feel sad. Its a simple feeling that anyone can relate to. And it means that the anxiety is getting better since I can focus on having such a ‘simple’ feeling. I’m not really saying that sadness is easy, it just weighs so much lighter on my shoulders compared to how I’be been feeling since the middle of August.

In conclusion; I’m happy to feel sad.



Small victories

Its been a while since I updated about my mental condition, mainly because its been going rather well. I’ve had a backlash lately, but that happens. I don’t give up (even though I admit I sometimes feel like doing so).

For those of you who haven’t red my past posts about this I suffer from anxiety, which had also led me into a depression. Its something I’m struggling with every day, but with the help of psychologists and medication I have been able to control the anxiety more and more. Its also made me realize that no matter how deep I feel like I’ve fallen there’s always a way back up.

Its also important to remember the small progresses I make. For example; I finished reading a book yesterday and that is a big thing for me. It might sound like nothing, ridiculous even, but when the scariest thing you know are your own thoughts, reading a book can be a struggle. That’s because when you read, everything around you feels empty, and the only sense you use is your eyesight. For me, that emptiness is very scary, so every time I finish a book its a victory.

To sum up; Right now I’m not great, but I work hard to change that. In the meantime I hope that this post might help someone.



Merry Christmas everyone!

Have you celebrated? I have, I went to a secret place in the forest to eat lots of food and spend time with my family.

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Not really “Christmasy” weather, but still beautiful!

Since a few years back we don’t give each other gifts within the family, because it doesn’t feel that important any longer.

I have gotten some gifts from others though, as my dear friends SaSa and AREKU, as well as one of our cute fan.

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SaSa had made her own “mixture” of gingerbread late that she gave me. Who needs Starbucks, really?

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AREKU gave me a vintage style picture for the wall, featuring two ladies showing of and under-vest of wool and cotton. I really like these kinds of pictures, and vintage underwear has always been fascinating to me. It looks great on my wall.

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Our dear Norwegian Alavin Kim sent these keychains, a necklace and four hand-made pictures. I will let you know Kim that I was in need of a keychain so these are perfect. Thank you!

I hope you’ve had good holidays even if you celebrate Christmas or not.



Tokyo part III – Tokyo haul

So I finally got around to make a post about the things I bought in Tokyo. Please enjoy!


This is difficult to see, but here’s a transparent cardigan with fringes (which you can see on my Instagram) from SPINS, a tote bag from h.NAOTO and a pair of leg warmers from the same brand. The cardigan is really gonna be a favorite of mine and a great treasure from my Tokyo trip!


Here’s the print of an oversize t-shirt from Listen Flavor. Its not my usual style, but LF has really cute stuff and the material is so comfy! Kind of an over-prized nightgown you might say.


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These both items are from my new favorite brand Ghost of Harlem. The white dress will probably be used in a photoshoot soon. The top is a new favorite, its stylish and comfortable at the same time. And I love the back, its a really nice touch.



Of course I couldn’t go to Tokyo without buying CD’s! I bought most of them at Book off, which is a brand of second hand store. They sell books of course, but also CD’s, movies and video games. I bought the following:

Kiss – L’Arc~en~Ciel
Art of Life – X JAPAN (with a small photo book)
Voyage – Femme Fatale
Voyage ~Sans Retour~ – MALICE MIZER (sort of amused I bought two “Voyage”)
La Collection des Singles – L’edition Limitee – – MALICE MIZER

I bought the Femme Fatale single at Tower Records, which is of course on of the best places in Tokyo. Part from all the music you can buy, they also have a café with Rilakkuma theme. It was cute, even the burgers were shaped as him. So, Tower Records is a must when visiting Tokyo.


When I lived in Hong Kong I fell in love with Etude House which is a store selling skin products and cosmetics. The stores look like small pink houses and their packaging is so cute. I bought the facial mask Wonder Pore which I’ve been wanting to try for a while. I don’t know how well it works yet, but its fun to use since the foam feels like shaving cream (I sometimes get myself a beard when using it, haha!). I also bought a perfume which I love.

The nail polishes are from the 100 yen store, and then work surprisingly well for being so cheap! Lastly, the facial sheet masks are from Korea town.



Lastly I got some decoration for the house. The pink box is a cookie box from Disneyland and now I’m using it to store my sewing supplies. The mug I found at a store at Odaiba island and do I really need to comment on it? Its like it was made for me! The Halloween painting is from a KERA shop. Sadly, I don’t remember the artist. The second painting is from a museum and its a poem. I wanted something that represented both new, modern Tokyo and something more traditional but still something that matched. I really think I succeeded!

So there you have it! I’m happy with my finds and I’m also surprised I didn’t buy more, haha! Hopefully it can inspire some of you on where to shop if you go to Tokyo.

See you soon lovelies,



Yes, I know its spelled “weekend”, but I was paying an homage to the X JAPAN song “WEEK END”. Anyhow, I spent the weekend together with AREKU and my friend Maco who I haven’t seen in almost two years. It was nice catching up.

Me sightseeing in my own city.

Me sightseeing in my own city.

We began the Saturday by going to a flea market selling only alternative clothing. I managed to get my hands on some pretty jewelry and petite shoes.



Also; me and AREKU ran in to some tortoises! Tortoises are my favourite animal, they are so cute!

Folkets park

Folkets park

AREKU posted a video about our weekend and you get get a better view of the animals. You also get a closer look of my fabulous outfit for the day.

Speaking of fashions; I tried doing some nail art today. Its not the best picture, but I’m pretty happy with the results.


That¨s it for today. Will make a third update about the Tokyo trip during the week. Until then, take care.


Tokyo trip part II – Disneyland (ft SaSa)

This time I will share share some memories from Disneyland Resort Tokyo. I’ve never visited Disneyland before so I owed it to the child in me. Besides, SaSa was so enthusiastic about it that if I had refused she would probably refuse to talk to me ever again ❤

Disnelyland entrance

We arrived in early afternoon and went straight to the Snow white story ride. There is one part made like the one when she’s running through the forest and that was really scary, not for people with weak hearts!


After a few story rides we continued to Mickey’s house. You get to walk through it and see his baby photos, living room and Pluto’s corner among other things.

SaSa in Pluto's corner.

SaSa in Pluto’s corner.

You then continue out through the garden to Mickey’s movie barn where all his movie are made. And in the end, you are greeted by Mickey himself!


Excuse our faces, it was really hot outside.

Mickey was the sweetest thing! He was super excited and gave us both hugs and kisses on the cheek. If you ever go to Disneyland Tokyo, you should visit him. Its a long wait, but it doesn’t matter since its a lot of fun to see his house too.

The food is of course also special at this place. Popcorn is a must, they have everything from caramel to curry popcorn. We had chocolate which was safe but nice.


The burgers we ate were shaped like Donald’s foot and Mickey’s hand. Cute!

Phoo's story book.

Pooh’s story book.

Back to the story rides. Surprisingly, after Pirates of the Caribbean I liked Pooh’s ride the most. Its the newest attraction in the park and uses modern elements in a classes story ride in a very clever way. The wait was long, but it was worth it.

I’m happy SaSa brought me here, it was a nice memory. I’d definitely go again if I had the chance.

I will soon make another update on my Tokyo trip so stay tuned!




Tokyo trip part I (ft SaSa)

Hello everyone!

I was thinking I should share some stories from my Tokyo trip. I will split it into several posts so keep your eyes open for more!

I landed in Tokyo on August 3d and met up with my band mate, friend and little sister SaSa. She lives in Shinjuku and we dropped off my stuff at her place before we went out to eat. I’ve eaten so much great food during my trip, both Japanese and other cuisine. My favorite though had to be sushi (boring, I know), the tuna rice balls from 7 Eleven (true story) and the Korean street food called hotteok. Its like a thick pancake with different sorts of fillings. I had cheese and it was pretty much amazing.


Even though both me and SaSa pretty much lives for food, we of course had time for some serious sightseeing. We went to see the golden statue of Buddha in Yanaka, a district with many Buddhist and Shinto temples. Last time I was in Tokyo I didn’t get to visit many traditional sites of the city so I was very happy about it (even though the heat almost killed us and we ended up having lunch for three and a half hours).

The Golden Buddha at the Zenshoan temple.

The Golden Buddha at the Zenshoan temple.

The following days we kept exploring the city, such as going to the Obaida island where we watched the Tokyo Bat Fireworks Festival. Many people had dressed up in beautiful yukatas for the occasion which was nice to see.

Of course we also had time to enjoy the modern parts of Tokyo, such as karaoke. Karaoke in Japan might be once of the best ways to party.

SaSa aka Krystal in the karaoke room.

SaSa aka Krystal in the karaoke room.

At the end of my visit, we went to see the Imperial Palace East Gardens. It was a nice, peaceful place in the middle of a busy city. We then went to have some Indian curry and karaoke with some of SaSa’s friends.

Imperial Palace East Gardens.

Imperial Palace East Gardens.

So, to sum up, I think I did all the things one is expected to do while in Tokyo. I had lots of great foods, saw temples, Tokyo Tower, had beer in the izakaya, sang karaoke, went to Disneyland (which is subject to another post) and bought some cool fashions. We also went to the “k-pop” part of Korea Town, which was both fascinating and really fun.

"Idol Park" in Korea town.

“Idol Park” in Korea town.

This trip really was a dream come true. I didn’t manage to catch any good concerts, but other than that it was pretty much perfect. I will tell you more about it in the next post.

See you soon,